This obituary is protected by copyright by MacCoubrey Funeral Home Limited. Proudly serving Northumberland County in the province of Ontario, Canada. All rights reserved.
Fay died peacefully at home, with the love of her family surrounding her, after a very short decline in health.
Born at home on her grandparent’s farm on the Bonnechere River just outside of Renfrew Ontario to Stanley and Iva Barstead, Fay was the oldest of 5 children.
After her family left the farm, she grew up in Renfrew where she met Dennie Farmer and at the age of eleven decided they were going to marry. They did marry in 1954 and moved to Cobourg in 1956.
Fay was predeceased by her parents, husband Dennie (1986), sisters Gail (2009) and Elizabeth (2018), and nephew Jeff (2008). She is survived by her daughter Kathy (Dave) Chomitz and children Michael (Kelly Prodaniuk) Chomitz, Grace (Brad Wolgram) Chomitz, and Farmer (Roman Seregin) Chomitz; her daughter Pat Farmer and children Sarah (Niall Eccles) Koval, and Holly Koval; and her son Kevin Farmer. She is also survived by her brother Daryl (Anne) Barstead and sister Marilyn (Lee) Bell, as well as many nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews.
Fay was an elementary teacher in the Cobourg area for many years touching the lives of countless students and colleagues. She had an intuitive sense of how to reach children and spent hours setting up individual programs long before these became normal. She moved from the classroom to the Board Office and became a mentor for other teachers. Along the way she developed many rich rewarding friendships which lasted until her death. After her retirement in 1998 she literally fell into an adventurous second career as a tour leader for two tour companies and spent the next ten or so years travelling all over the world, having many adventures and using her skills as a teacher to make other’s travel experiences rewarding.
Fay was up for anything fun, and said she had decided early in life that she would say yes to anything! She loved to shop, travel, attend opera, ballet and musicals, Westben and the 4th line theater. She was able to do this with her family and friends. She was wickedly funny and quietly helpful.
Fay had boundless energy and capacity to love and care for her family and friends. She always had time for her five grandchildren and never missed a significant event in their lives. She was interested in everything they did and encouraged them to go out into the world to seek new experiences and learn everything they could. She supported her family in many quiet and sometimes very subtle ways. She taught us that education was important and that it opened the doors to almost everything.
Fay’s family would like to express their deep gratitude to Dr. Mark Essak for his gentle guidance and excellent palliative care.
A celebration of Fay’s life is planned for November (details yet to be planned) in Cobourg.
My condolences to Fay's family. I first met Fay when we were on staff at "The Burnham" School back in the 70's. We collaborated on the production of Oliver - Fay was a great supporter of the Arts. Fay was a gifted educator and made a difference in the classroom and throughout the school board. Sincerely Ron McKelvey
I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom. She was one of a kind. My favourite teacher by far,she was so kind and patient. She leaves behind many great memories.
Kathy and family, I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your mum. May the memories bring you some joy during this time. Hugs, Eileen Sheppard,
To all Fay's family: I taught with Fay at Burnham P. S. back in the day. She was a dedicated teacher who always put her students first and helped them achieve their goals. She inspired them and guided them to do their very best. I know that all in the Farmer family have many great memories to share. Remember - "We can't always choose the music life plays for us, BUT we can choose how we dance to it!"
My Condolences to you and your family
We are so sorry to hear of Fay's death. She was such an upbeat, positive lady who always made you feel welcome and heard. We had a lot in common. She was from Renfrew and my wife and spent 20 years teaching in the Frew. We were both teachers and in the travel business. She participated in our tour to Australia-New Zealand and Fiji in 2001. I shall miss her sense of humour and positive attitude. Sincerely, Peter Brotherhood
Kathy, Pat Kevin and extended family: Our Sincerest Condolences on the passing of your dear mother, grandmother. She loved her family dearly .We have many fond memories of our visits with Fay and her family at her cottage and her home . She was a very gracious hostess and had a way of making everyone feel welcome . Daryl will always miss his telephone conversations with her. Love you Fay . Ann and Daryl Barstead
"Honour thy mother and thy father" and Kathy and family you truly did. Your commitment to the final stages of your mother's life was a labour of love and compassion. We are sending you our condolences and may the legacy of your mother, grandmother remain in your family for generations.
I had your Mom for a teacher at Burnham School. She was kind and gentle and always made each student welcome in her class. Condolences to her family and may her legacy of kindness comfort you in the days and weeks ahead. Julie (Nairn) Darling
She was such a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart,I use to shovel her driveway for her and was always loving and so grateful towards me,I will miss her alot and she will always be in my heart,such a sad day,my condolences to the family.Love you Fay RIP
My favorite teacher! She was such a caring, thoughtful person and demonstrated a desire to live her life on her terms. She will be missed. My condolences to her family. My mom and Mrs Farmer were teaching collegues
Mrs. Farmer was a beautiful soul! She was so helpful and supportive when I came to her class when we moved to Cobourg from the states. It was quite a transition for an 11 year old and there were teachers who treated us badly because we were American. But Mrs. Farmer had my back! She gave me hope in the good people along my educational journey and that is priceless! Heaven has received a sweet soul!
My sincere condolences to the Farmer family at this difficult time. I remember Mrs. Farmer was a kind gentle lady and a great teacher. My prayers are with you all.
Fay taught school with our Mother, She was a most gracious Lady and touched the lives of so many people. Deepest sympathy to all the Family, The Atkinsons
Kathy, Pat, and Kevin I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your dear Mom. She was a mentor to hundreds of children in the Cobourg area. I had the privilege of having as a teacher at Burnham Public and will never forget her kindness and teaching. She was an Angel on earth, and has left a footprint in the heart of everyone who knew her. My sincere condolences to your families and sincere sympathy.
We are very sorry to hear of Fay’s passing. Her contributions to the education community were endless. She had a skill in reaching colleagues as well as children. We all learned a great deal about teaching strategies and positive responses to challenges. Please accept our sincere sympathy.
So sorry for your loss. I remember my Dale Road school days and having her for a teacher; a great teacher and enjoyed my classes with her. Sincere condolences Carol Ann ( nee: VanBelois )
Fay was a great friend, and gave my life a lift. As mentioned, she was a excellent writer, educator and leader. She was a wonderful cook and hostess, and a gracious visitor. She was also willing to listen. I will remember her as an amazing travel companion.
I am so deeply saddened to hear about the loss of Fay. I will always remember her as a dedicated teacher, a wise consultant, and a true visionary. Her passion for education and her support for others were truly inspiring. Fay's impact on so many young lives and her colleagues will never be forgotten. I feel so lucky to have known her and to have learned from her. Please accept my heartfelt condolences during this incredibly difficult time.
I was on the RTO executive with Fay for a few years. I always appreciated her gentleness, grace and insights. My condolences to her family.
Kathy, and family..I am sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. What a remarkable legacy she has left for all to remember. My deepest condolences to you.
Was respected and loved by everyone at school.
This lady was an exceptional person. Her years in a classroom made a difference to many people. Most of them grown now and living lives of their own. Robert was a bit of a challenge as he needed a special person to build the bridge to learning. The care and kindness she showed her students is still important today. Now at the age of 64, I can say she was my favorite teacher. I.mourn her death as others do. However, she will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you Mrs. Farmer your care has lasted me a lifetime. May God find a special place in his kingdom just for you. My sincerest condolences to the family. Mrs. Farmer made a difference.
Kathy and family I am so sorry for your loss. I have many fond memories of Mrs Farmer from my school days. My thoughts will be with you all
Dear Kathy Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved mother. You have many precious memories to give you comfort.
Kathy, Sincere condolences to you and your family. Losing your mom is so difficult. I hope the many memories you have of your time together give you comfort. Thinking of you. ❤️
Dear Kathy, Pat, Kevin and families, please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your dear Mom and Gramma. I was lucky enough to have her as a teacher many years ago at Burnham school. She was one of the best. Know my thoughts and prayers will be with you all in the days ahead.🌹
One of my favorite teachers and a gentle soul,. What a wonderful life to celebrate. My condolences Kathy and Dave but you must have the most wonderful memories to sustain you.
Such a beautiful soul. May she rest in peace. With sincere sympathy, Linda Cable Marr
Deepest sympathies to Fay’s family. She was a smiling welcoming face over the years of my youth, and the dearest of friend to my parents Margarete & Ron Cameron.
Big hugs for you, Kathy and your family. Memories will guide you through your grief
Sincere condolences to the family - many ties with the Cross/Seale family. I hope your family and friends help you weather your loss. Faye was the epitome of a life well lived.
Mrs. Farmer came into my life when I was a student at Burnham School. I was going through a very difficult time because my father was very sick and I was having a hard time. She was kind and supportive and even came to the visitation when he passed. That support meant the world to me.
I shall truly miss reminiscing with Fay and sharing memories working together as the first resource people hired by the board and our wonderful travels together especially the time we spent in Maui and the wonderful summer in the south of France. She figured out the train schedules while I did the speaking in French and we made a great team. Fay truly made our world a better place.
Fay was a great educator .Her quick wit and quiet humour was always refreshing. I can still hear her laugh. Respected by all who knew her Rip.
David and Kathy your and extended family, what a wonderful life your Mom lived and all of you may take comfort now that she is at rest, having given all she had to live well.
To Fay's Family, Fay made a very positive impact on my life. As an educator she had an endless supply of energy. Fay wrote and designed countless literacy based units to encourage student and teacher learning and made sure they had fun doing it. During our retirement we made time to have many lunches together to catch up on each other's lives and family. Fay was also instrumental in my desire to work as a tour host. She shared her insights with me regarding tourism and always offered great suggestions to assist with the itinerary and make me a better host. Over the years Fay has touched the heart and souls of her family, friends, colleagues, and people she met along the way. To her family, heaven has just received another angel. Fay Doreen Farmer September 21, 1932 - August 21, 2025 "Rest in Peace"